Saturday, March 24, 2012

Thank God someone invented Italians so we could have cappuccinos in the morning...

The recipe is good for two portions.
One if you are North American.

Stuff you’ll need;
Espresso Pot, Hand Blender, Small & Tall Pot, Spoon, Favorite “Best Daddy” Mug, ½ of your conscientiousness.
Fresh 100% Arabica Espresso Coffee Beans you got from the stubble-faced coffee hipster at Longos.
Ideally, you are smart enough to buy only as much as you need to last the week, otherwise your stupid FOH friends will say that your beans are old, and you’re getting old, and that’s not gray hair you are getting, it’s more like white and you snore too loudly…etc.
Did you know consuming excessive caffeine can cause funny heart feelings? Regardless, grind up miracle beans, measure out 2tbs for the espresso pot.

Water in this case, 1.5 Cups. Put the element on high and place your espresso pot over it.
1 Cup (Plus a tad extra for whatever divinity you follow) of Skim Milk, 1 tbs. Vanilla, put together in the small & tall pot. Put the pot on the stove on high heat.
The milk will come to a light steep before the coffee is finished. Remove the milk from the heat before it begins to boil. If it comes even close to raising, it will not froth very well and you as a person will be irrelevant. I hear Tibetan monasteries don’t judge those lacking in frothing ability.
Slight vapors of evaporation coming from the pot indicate when it’s best to remove the milk. So just stand there and do nothing but glare at the pot in the cold stale air of stupid morning and wait for vapor. Be one with the pot. I froth, therefore I am.

Frothing is both an art and science.
Put the pot at a 45 degree angle (See, science). Make sure the hand blender is touching the bottom end of the pot but half sticking out of the milk. Sound complicated? Perhaps look at the above picture (Art!). I froth for a solid 35 seconds because it’s enough to develop a base of smaller bubbles, but without over doing it.
Don’t over do it. Don’t under do it.
Anyone waiting for you to finish the cappuccinos at this point quietly hates you because of how long and noisy it is to make a great froth. Well they can shut up their impatient junkie faces.
Ces’t ton froth.

Gently place froth aside. Take your mugs and add mood-setting sugar. Tilt the froth pot into the mugs and use a spoon to block the froth from going in. Let the failed froth milk (The Maple Leafs of Froth) pour into the sugar mugs.

Stir the milk and sugar together. Between you, me, creepers, and the internet, this is also where I add cinnamon, as I typically hate hearing the sizzling sound of a dying froth when people (Leaf Fans) garnish it.

Does it sound like it’s starting to bubble now? Can you hear yourself saying “like WOW, that coffee sounds like its really perculating!”? TTHHHAAATTSSS NOT PERCULATING!!!! This is not your parents Maxwell Coffee Machine. Espresso Pots are silent until they finish and THEN THEY START BEING NOISY LITTLE ITALIAN COFFEE POTS. So, when you hear the noise, remove it from the heat as soon as possible.
Now pour the coffee. It’s okay to smile a little.

Tilt the froth pot and gently talk the froth into merging with the coffee. Be gentle, there is no rush here. All the hard parts of waking up are in the past now. That’s it. Congrats, you are all done. 668 words to describe what is usually a 4 minute process.

The links I provide below are both relevant to this cappuccino blog. First is a 9 step guide line to make a general batch of coffee which I found surprisingly great coming from Yahoo! Canada. This is followed by a YouTube clip of some atmosphere enhancing contemporary jazz I love listening too while in the kitchen.

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